Chit happens...

When my youngest son Darby was killed at the age of 10, back in 2008. I lost my will to live. After many failed, yet serious, suicide attempts, I began to drink myself into complete blackouts on a daily basis. Nevertheless, that lead me to "jails, institutions, not death"..crap! So when I finally got the hell into my moms house, I still couldn't appreciate anything. I drank there, even though it was agreed that no alcohol consumption by me was allowed. So.. I got thrown out to the streets. Didn't matter because now I could drink my days away without concern. Boy was I dead wrong.
Please stay tuned for more of my road to homelessness.

Me homeless.

My homeless rock bottom!!

The day that I hit rock bottom when I was homeless was when I had the runs and no where to go to the restroom so I had to crap all inside of my underear, shorts, running down my legs, into my socks & shoes. Of couse I had no where to clean up, so i had to stay that way all day long. Walking by people, knowing they smelt me, riding the bus back to the shelter, filling the bus with the smell of shit, and then going back to the shelter & not being able to wash up until after dinner. It was the day I realized of what I had become. All of those things i had did in my past had caught up with me in a short 6 hours. At that point I told myself enough was enough. I quit taking all of those dumb meds I was on, went into the hospital for 8 days to find out what the hell was the matter with me & never drank again.
Luckly for me, I was able to come back to my moms house. Being with my mom & brother Ken.
Now my 25 year old son Christopher still will not talk or have anything to do with me. It's been over 2 years, and i just found out hes getting married next year, security has been notified that I am NOT allowed to be there, but I guess I deserve all that I get. And my brother Chris has not talked to me in 5 years. I don't blame them but if God can forgive us, we should, as Christians, should be able to forgive but wwhat the heck can I do??/ NOTHING!! I just keep staying the best person i can be & hope/pray that someday we will be a family again......MOSTLY for my mom. She's torn up inside that her family is torn apart. So am I but I feel as if it's all cuz of me.
Now....I'm honest, sweet, caring, and most of knoww that the world does NOT only surround around ME!!

So always remember that Karma is a bitch & what comes around goes around!!! The best words of advice I can give you all!!

May peace be with you, may God keep you safe in his arms, and never ever forget to tell the ones that you love...that " YOU LOVE THEM!!" tELL THEM EVERY CHANCE YOUU GET CUZ YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU, ME , OR THEM CAN BE GONE JUST LIKE THAT!!

lOVE YOU MY FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS....all of you!!! nO MATTER WHAT AUTHENTICITY YOU ARE!!! We are ALL people....PERIOD!! Love one another, please!!

Ciao for now!!!  Lisa

As of June 13th.....

I'm not living on the streets. I am back in Corona, with my mum and brother Kenny. Things are going well, I guess. My moms been a real crancky biotch theese past few weeks & my brother is just plain ass lazy. So I've found to keep my mouth shut, never comment on anything, and keep a positive outlook on everything!! It's been working so far.
So go check out my original blog cuz I won't be blogging on this one very much longer. The other blog is AWESOME! So here's the address    http://thelovelacefiles.blogspot.com

I hope all of you out there are in good spirits & great health. I love you all & thank you for your support when I didn't want to live anymore. Hip-Hip-Horray!!!!!

Fricking pathetic pieces of shit!

There's people in here...and I use the word people lightly...that steal from some of us homeless people. threating my that f I don't get them a cigarette, that they'll kick my ass. Now you know that went over like a ton of bricks. I told her to get out of my face, I'm not finding you a smoke, and  if you continue to harrass me, I'm call the police. So she's all sorry to me the next day but I just brushed her off & ignored her. God some people need to just go straight to hell!!! Pathetic losers!!      

Finally!!!

I'm back online again, after a short recess from the computer. Things are going okay for me today. I have an appointment on 05/29/2012 at the Housing Authority of Riverside County to try & get help with my 1st months rent and deposit, so i can get into a place of my own. The program ends on August 30th, so I don't have much time. Living on the streets is really starting to take a toll on me BAD! My skin is in terrble shape, my hair looks awful, and my minds starting to play tricks on me...if ya know what I mean?! I hope everyone that follows this blog is having a fantastic day & may God keep all of you safe from harm. Ciao for now!!! 

It's hard sometimes.....

to get online when one is homeless. Even though Riverside, Ca is a wifi city, it's slower than haitis sometimes. I'm online today so I decided to write a few lines. Hope all is well with the world today!!  Ciao for now!!!!!