The day that I hit rock bottom when I was homeless was when I had the runs and no where to go to the restroom so I had to crap all inside of my underear, shorts, running down my legs, into my socks & shoes. Of couse I had no where to clean up, so i had to stay that way all day long. Walking by people, knowing they smelt me, riding the bus back to the shelter, filling the bus with the smell of shit, and then going back to the shelter & not being able to wash up until after dinner. It was the day I realized of what I had become. All of those things i had did in my past had caught up with me in a short 6 hours. At that point I told myself enough was enough. I quit taking all of those dumb meds I was on, went into the hospital for 8 days to find out what the hell was the matter with me & never drank again.
Luckly for me, I was able to come back to my moms house. Being with my mom & brother Ken.
Now my 25 year old son Christopher still will not talk or have anything to do with me. It's been over 2 years, and i just found out hes getting married next year, security has been notified that I am NOT allowed to be there, but I guess I deserve all that I get. And my brother Chris has not talked to me in 5 years. I don't blame them but if God can forgive us, we should, as Christians, should be able to forgive but wwhat the heck can I do??/ NOTHING!! I just keep staying the best person i can be & hope/pray that someday we will be a family again......MOSTLY for my mom. She's torn up inside that her family is torn apart. So am I but I feel as if it's all cuz of me.
Now....I'm honest, sweet, caring, and most of knoww that the world does NOT only surround around ME!!
So always remember that Karma is a bitch & what comes around goes around!!! The best words of advice I can give you all!!
May peace be with you, may God keep you safe in his arms, and never ever forget to tell the ones that you love...that " YOU LOVE THEM!!" tELL THEM EVERY CHANCE YOUU GET CUZ YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU, ME , OR THEM CAN BE GONE JUST LIKE THAT!!
lOVE YOU MY FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS....all of you!!! nO MATTER WHAT AUTHENTICITY YOU ARE!!! We are ALL people....PERIOD!! Love one another, please!!
Ciao for now!!! Lisa
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